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A Rap About Sea Serpents, Mermaids, and Boiling Lakes

Feb 11, 2011


Location: Roseau, Dominica
Author: Ben Morris
This morning began like no other. Tickled with anticipation of the legendary boiling lakes, everyone jumped out of beds like a bunch of spider monkeys and ran on deck to hear the morning brief and eat some delicious and nutritious prune flakes and dehydrated milk. Little did the crew know that they were in for an extra special treat, for I gave the morning brief in rap form. Sprinkling in awesome adjectives and amazing alliteration, I described the hike and informed everyone of the legend of the monstrous serpent, and that if their pants turned yellow, to use detergent. (sulfur does that to pants) We packed up and got to shore to meet Pancho, who would be driving us in his van to the bottom of the mountain. We piled out and it immediately began to rain, leaving the trail slippery, muddy, and um, trailey. Luckily, it stopped raining as soon as we piled into the woods and we began our hike up the million flights of stairs to the top of the mountain. We got to the top looking down at a lot of cool mountains and stuff, and then for a change of pace, we got to walk down a million flights of stairs to the second part of the hike, through the Valley of Desolation, where people go to burn their skin off by wearing sandals and to rub mud on their faces to clean their pores. After everyone was thoroughly impressed upon by peer pressure, we all had mud masks on and we looked like a bunch of juggalos (ICP for life). Next, we boiled some eggs in some boiling water laying around the mountain and we ate them and then continued on to the lake. After at least a 67 mile hike through rain, sleet, snow, and acid rain we made it to the lakes and they were ok I guess. We ate lunch, which was bread, peanut butter, and the mud which fell off our faces into our sandwiches and then we were on our merry way back to the place we came from. Flash forward 600 million 726 thousand and 2 steps later, we arrived back at the beginning of the trail and went down to the gorge where Johnny Depp swam in for Pirates of the Caribbean 2. It was a the most incredible part of the trip thus far, and you could hear many people shout Best Day Ever making Elis best day ever null and void. After that, we rode back to the pickup spot and everyone passed out on the docks where we started a new program parallel to Seamester called Napmester where you can travel to exotic places and Set your own alarm. It was the best nap ever and then we got to shower in Hibiclens and eat delicious chili and then I got to come down and tell you about all this stuff. THE END.