Cooks Voyage of Discovery v.2
Location: South Pacific
When humanity first took to the seas, an unimaginable series of events transpired that ended up with… The Costco Hotdog.
Let me explain:
In the beginning life came from the seas. Before bipedalism, blood pressure screenings, and the IPod Nano, land based life as we know it decided that great big blue thing was rather salty. If we fast forward the historical record, we progress through the 7 stages of grief, including dinosaur nuggets, Goldman sachs, and the Greenland sharks. Additionally, we happened to stumbled upon a rather curious creature known as Lucy. Tragically the same brain that today fires off a neuron over a Costco Hotdog, was stuck in Lucy, never truly experiencing the beautiful sensation. Lucy would have loved walking down 5th avenue, getting into her Suburban SUV, and driving down the strip mall to her nearest Costco. We know this is what Lucy would have loved thanks to the fact that the very brain in the first anatomically modern humans is the same brain inside each of us, and we love the Costco hotdog. Amazingly, that same brain and the next 300,000 years of human development landed 29 people aboard STV Argo, sailing through the South Pacific towards un(charted) territory, under a quantifiable number of stars that I cannot be bothered to count.
Captain Cook now enters the scene. An uneducated son of a labourer, Cook sailed the very seas your sons and daughters are, in the name of exploration. Visiting Tahiti, Bora Bora, and many other islands, atolls, and expanses throughout the South Pacific. Along the way Cook became enchanted with the indigenous populations, unfortunately some of the indigenous peoples were not overly thrilled with his arrival. I cannot imagine why a peoples who have inhabited this vast stretch of Polynesia for millennia would not appreciate a white boy from England rocking up with his ragtag crew of scurvy riddled, flea infested, non Colgate using fellas. My current fascination with captain cook comes from a book I am reading by Tony Horwitz, titled Blue Latitudes - Boldy going where captain cook has gone before. Tony brilliantly weaves humor, historical scholarship, and intellectual musings into what is effectively a travel guide to the very places Argo is currently headed towards. In the first 120 pages I have gotten a broader understanding of what pre western influenced Polynesia looked like and the unfortunate demise of a culture at the hands of “progress.” Little did we know that captain cook was actually contracted by Costco holdings to scout new locations, thanks to their new push for Costco Farfuru. Farfuru is a delicacy in Tahiti made from raw fish that is marinated in rotting fish salt water leaving a silky smooth texture, ideal for picnics. Thanks to Blue Latitudes and movies like mutiny on the bounty, it is also known to me that many of Cooks men ended up entering relationships with the local peoples, a shocking fact I would like to mention due to the whole no Colgate situation they had going on. So after 3 months of drinking and partying, it was time for Cooks men to leave Tahiti and south Polynesia as a whole in search of the southern lands. Living on a picture perfect island for months after a year at sea, finding the “love” of your life and eating as many coconuts as you could imagine, your captain requesting you back onboard your ship to head straight into the southern ocean may leave something to be desired.
This highly abridged version of not only Polynesia culture, but also the history of sea faring humans may leave you a touch confused. I suppose Argos crew can parallel a bit of what cooks men did centuries ago. Most of us have never sailed through the south pacific and are exploring new lands as we reach them, meeting new people along the way, trading stories, culture and languages. Luckily modern amenities have made life underway slightly easier although cooks rum rations seem pretty cool. What I am trying to say is that your children, friends, and relatives have embarked on a truly monumental endeavour that can be traced back to the first walk out of Africa, to Kontiki, to Captain cook, and finally the Costco hotdog.
While on this enduring journey we call Seamester, today saw a full 24 hours of watch cycles, oceanography, and chicken Alfredo. Spirits are high while we race closer to Ahe Atoll. The student led passage committee is keeping a steady course, leadership skills are on display, and everyone has showered (which is a plus). Artemis 2 landed due north of us today and Starlink moved their satellites leaving us stranded for a few hours, a sliver of hardship endured by Captain Cook, but all together today was another poetic lesson to all about resilience, teamwork, and a life well lived.