Location: Underway to Tahiti
Well, well, well, day 82, who would’ve thought? Today was a day like many others at sea, lunch, class, dinner, and lots of watch. I won’t bore you with the minute details of watch conversations (including, but not limited to, foot fetishes, grandma toes, e – girlfriends, Cosmo’s inability to spell, Cosmo’s ‘ironically punchable face’, and that time Dr. Miami removed Allies appendix). ALSO!! We saw land for the first time today! It was pretty far away, and we couldn’t smell it (crushing news), but it definitely solidified that we were getting so so close to Tahiti.
Whenever big things in the world happen, I do this thing where I think, ‘How crazy would it be to be a backpacker right now and not know that this crazy thing happened.’ At first, this was a lingering thought, but when I brought it up to my mom, she told me about the time she broke the news to some British backpackers that Princess Diana had died, and my obsession was rationalized. Then I show up on Vela, and what do I find out?! Allie’s trip was during the start of covid, and they didn’t know about it until they showed up after the end of their crossing, even more fuel for my obsessive flame. I’m not much of a long-term backpacker, so these 23 days at sea have been my first opportunity for utter shock and amazement at the state of the world upon my return. So how does this play into boat life? Well, it is one of my very favorite questions to ask the people aboard the good ship Vela. Seeing as we will be arriving in Tahiti in t minus 300(ish) miles, I decided that that would be the perfect question to ask tonight.
What follows is a list of everyone’s answers given in the order in which they were said, they have been paraphrased, but I tried to make them true to the source.
Morana – I think there has been an international run on Nutella, and they are now selling for upwards of $50 a jar on the back market because we have a whole bench full of Nutella, the good ship vela is now loaded.
Cosmo – Kanye is dead.
Charlie – Some really important political figure is dead
Drew – The UK has gone through two more prime ministers
Saskia – My bother has taken my sofa out of my room, because its more comfortable than his, and put it in his room
Skyler – My family has packed up the house and moved again
Allie – Frank Ocean released more music, and Pete Davidson is dating Condoleezza Rice
Ted – Tahiti changed their drinking age to 21
Carla – Mom stocked up on hot chili chocolate
Lake – An elephant escaped from a zoo and is now roaming the streets of New York City
Elise – The Statue of Liberty started dating the Rio statue, but then she left him for the Epcot Ball Ula – Julie Andrews died
Steph – Taylor Swift released new music
Tom – Somewhere, Shaun is having nightmares about being in a box
(**Shaun is Steph’s boyfriend and the object of many a game like ‘What’s in the Box’)
Lexi – Someone tried to steal the Mona Lisa
Matt – Julie Andrews died, but they cloned her first, so she’s never really gone
Nella – Nothing happened.
Ben – They rereleased the Rick and Morty sheshuan pepper sauce, and people all over the world are fighting and rioting over it
Gabby – They released another season of Riverdale, and my mom let my cat get fat Alexis – Warren Buffet died
Miles – All my chickens were killed, but instead of telling me about it, my mom bought more that look exactly the same as the old chickens and gave them the same names, and they’re never going to tell me. Also, David Attenborough became a sound cloud rapper
William – Micheal Jackson came back to life and is currently on his world tour
Daphne – Ula stole mine (**See Julie Andrew’s death)
Toria – Something happened to Meryl Streep, don’t know what, couldn’t tell ya, but something
Kirby – Julie Andrews being dead was my idea originally. They stole it from me
Dylan – Elon Musk tweeted something absolutely bonkers, and now it’s bankrupt
Owen – My party garage has been searched by my parents, also that my friends went there without me over spring break
Fargo – The poles switched and were actually going in the wrong direction
Sammy – Hawaii News Now broke news saying ‘Waikiki man brings katana to seven eleven robberies’ again
Smash – The Galapagos closed it borders, and we were the last people to be there, and now there’s a camera crew waiting in Tahiti to interview us
Magdi – Spotify got hacked and taken off the App Store, and that’s why no one’s music works anymore
As you can see, we have some weird trends, including 1) the death of Julie Andrews (?)
That’s actually mostly it. Anyway, in about a day and a half, we will find out if any of us guessed right. Also, shout out to Mills for being my photographer all these days. It’s been a pleasure (please enjoy his selection for today which was taken ‘right before I added them to this blog’).
Much love from my last vlog on the good ship Vela, Morana
P.S. Hi, family! Love you!