Location: KS

I thought goodbyes were going to be the hardest, but I was wrong. I thought Id get home and forget that I didnt need to power stance while I was cooking and maybe forget that I didnt need to pump once or twice, and then my adjustment would be over. Again, I was so wrong. Its strange not to sleep cuddled up against my Gumby suit in a still bed. My ears ring from the lack of ocean waves and strong winds, and I cant stop throwing trash in the sink. I forgot there was a dishwasher right next to me and started to hand wash my cereal bowl. When I tried to order a normal amount of snacks on Amazon, I ended up buying pop tarts and plantain chips in bulk, as well as way too many packs of gummy candy. Its all these little things that make it the strangest and make me miss the life that I had grown accustomed to, but luckily all the crew and staff make it so much easier. Weve been in constant contact about everything around us changing, and Its nice to know that we all are still going through things together- even at a distance. When it feels like no one will ever understand what weve done or what weve lost, everyone is there to help work through it. Through this experience, we all have gained so many happy memories, but the most important thing, I have found, is the incredible friends I have made. We even managed to get most of us to do virtual squeeze today. It was good to hear how we were all handling the change and know that Im not alone. Benazir and Sierra are still stuffing trash, Sylvia flushed her toilet 50 times, Missy made a replacement Gumby suit with her blankets, and everyone is consuming very large amounts of ice cream. Its strange now, but after the hardest parts are over, it can only go up from there.