Location: Middle of the Atlantic
Well, well, well, … we’ve been together for just over 60 days now, and truthfully we know each other pretty well at this point. We know each other’s food preferences, sleep patterns, allergies, pet peeves, and honestly, we even know each other’s toilet rhythm. So for those of you who couldn’t tag along on this epic adventure and didn’t get to meet Vela’s Fall 2021 crew, here is a little glimpse of who we are.
Name, Unofficial Boat Job, and Fun Fact
1. Freddie (Captain/ Stray Dog Deterrer)
– Was a mascot for the Lichtenstein national soccer team when he was a child
2. Elle (1st Mate/ Seasickness Tablet Provider)
– Used to travel around the world as a performing circus artist
3. Leoni (Program Manager/ Law Enforcement)
– Used to follow in the footsteps of John Muir and has summited the highest peak in the continental US twice.
4. Shona (Mate/ Mom)
– Is a real-life leprechaun and went to an Irish-speaking school.
5. Brianne (Mate/ Stationery Police)
– Used to slap random bald men on the head for good luck (We have to constrain her every time a man with a bald head walks past).
6. Dylan (Provisioner/ Haiku Writer)
– Sang on a stage in China in front of 5000 people.
7. Garrett (Mate/ Beard Groomer)
– Learned to sail on a styrofoam dinghy by watching youtube videos (He since has learned how to sail actual boats … not to worry).
8. Clara (Hair-Braider)
– Can only write up-side-down.
9. Celia (Boat Organizer and Educator)
– Her family is responsible for the extinction of the historic cow-herding Cowboy by inventing barbwire and sending 1000s of horse riding, cowboy hat-wearing men into unemployment.
10. Grace (Resident Canadian)
– Can burp the alphabet.
11. Jamie (Major of Bean Town)
– Is sometimes ambidextrous (it’s complicated, you have to ask him for details)
12. Akiva (Dad-Jokester)
– Is doing voiceovers for Hollywood horror movies featuring his “creepy laugh.”
13. James (Primate Specialist)
– Once scared of a grizzly bear by using his slingshot and speaks perfect monkey, but only if the monkey has a Texan accent.
14. Emerson (Fitz-McGee)
– Almost got taken out by former President Obama’s security guards after touching Obama’s boat.
15. Jack (Garbage Disposal)
– Once shut down a Costco with a code red.
16. Charlie (Snack Trader)
– His photo has been used in China to advertise women’s deodorant (Don’t ask).
17. Helayna (Kitchen Witch)
– Is a contortionist and can touch her elbows behind her back.
18. Savanna (Mood-Lifter)
– Used to dress up as Cinderella, not shiny-princess Cinderella … she preferred the dirty-floor-scrubbing in rags Cinderella.
19. Dani (Bracelet-Maker)
– Used to ask for dolls for her birthday only to mutilate them after (don’t worry, she is very sweet and has not yet harmed anyone).
20. Arden (Hug Provider)
– Can cry like an infant on command (it’s scary).
21. Emma (Dictator)
– Sang at a Christmas Party at the White House
22. Sam (Boat Cryer)
– Once ate a whole pine cone over the period of two months (We think they didn’t feed her well at camp).
23. Henry (Vibe Curator)
– Used to be a pirate and wore an eyepatch for years of his childhood.
24. Declan (Boat-Mom)
– Used to wear a wetsuit in the pool during swim practice because he got too cold (yes, he was that kid).
25. Tyler (Representative of the 50th Education Circuit)
– Has a public bathroom phobia and has never taken a poop at school (Not sure how things are going for him on Vela).
26. Garrett (Trend Setter and Song Writer)
– Is an exiled East-African prince who has been on the run for years (Don’t tell the feds).
27. Bubba (Fishermen)
– His belly button is a black hole and might swallow up the entire universe, and he will join Freddie’s cult.
28. Joe ( Resident Tall Person)
– Once stripped, acted, and recorded a pirate musical with his friends (the evidence is somewhere out there in the world wide web).
29. Liz (Conspiracy Theorist)
– Performed a hula-hoop routine at her school’s talent show.
30. Kendra (Mercenary)
– Can choose when to block out sound (a very handy skill when living on a boat with 30 other people).
31. Zoe (Unsolicited Encyclopedia)
– Was once crenated on her birthday by around 800 strangers under the Eiffel Tower.
Well, that’s us. We are a funny and weird bunch …
Much love!
Photo 1: Shona and I on the helm while the students are in class
Photo 2: Oldie but goody, Garrett and his mustache
Photo 3: Jack as Wolverine
Photo 4: The bunch (Emma, Bubba, Helayna, Declan, Jack, Kendra, Charlie)